On my “to do” list yesterday – the day baby turned one month old – was to write an update on how the last two weeks has been. It never happened along with a host of other scribbled line items in my notebook.
Unlike two weeks ago, I feel like I am constantly chipping away at a never-ending series of tasks. Last week I felt like I was on top of the world and nothing could stop me. Yesterday and today I feel as though I’m failing at everything – motherhood, career, my relationship.
So here are some lessons I’ve learned…
1). Each week, make that each day, is different. My sweet, sleeping baby has turned into an alert, awake all day, attention-needing little bundle of joy. Combine this with compounded sleep deprivation and hormones that are all over the map and life is a roller coaster.
2). Always have at least two diapers with you at all times. Baby peed while I was changing her into the last diaper I had in the bedroom. Running her, naked tushie, into her room to get another one, she decided it was time for number 2.
3). The moment you are about to take a bite of food or send an email, sleeping baby will know and inevitably wake up.
4). Four exercises at the gym is better than none. Just as I had finished errands with baby sleeping soundly in her stroller, I wheeled her into the gym. No more than four exercises later, she decided she was hungry.
*5). Stockpiling breast milk is not easy. Finding the time to pump between feedings is not simple, at least not for me. Just as a get some work done, baby is hungry again. Where do I have an extra 20 minutes? Baby isn’t on a schedule yet so how do I know when she’ll have an extended break in feedings? And today I attempted to pump one side while feeding baby on the other, after a serious amount of effort, I only got one ounce. Exhausting.
5). Other mommies are great to talk to when you are crying just as loud as baby. The tears where flowing and I called my own mommie. Just venting to her and knowing I wasn’t alone was a huge relief. “Take a deep breath, it will all come together. But I know it’s easy for me to say that sitting where I am now.” Words of encouragement with the understanding the my perspective is narrow. She’s the best.
6). You are not perfect and no one expects you to be but you. You will fail. You will not be able to get it all done in one day. You will not be everything to everyone at all times, and that’s OKAY.