You were no longer there today. There is this odd sense of comfort, of relief, that you were gone. That your tissue, your blood, your tiny bones and your heart have become apart of me again. That my body knew
1-18-18
You were just a blurry orb on the ultrasound screen. Your twin was moving around like crazy but my eyes were fixated in the lower corner of the scan. No movement. No flickering heart beat. I squinted my eyes, maybe
1-10-18
Kid to Parent Ratio 4:2 August 2018 The note written in my phone on this day. I was preparing to take an announcement photo of our exciting baby news just weeks away from the one year anniversary of my first
8-29-17
L leans in and says, “Mommy, can I tell you a secret?” She puts her hand up by her mouth and places it against the curve of where my face and ear meet. She whispers, “I wish I had a
8-21-17
I may not have run out to get my solar eclipse glasses – my daughter is in school today anyway and probably too young to view it. But I am celebrating today’s event with CrossFit, acupuncture then yoga. And in
8-20-17
The breeze sitting on my parents back porch seems like the best breeze that there ever was. One like I’ve never experienced. No breeze as beautiful, quiet and comforting. Not the breeze alongside the ocean, not on the top of
8-2-17
A butterfly dancing at my window as if she is trying to find a way in. Maybe if she could come in and sit on my finger tips, she could elevate me from earthly matters – to where you are.
7-7-17
The only thing you have to do is breathe. Tomorrow is a full moon. A time to let go of all that is not allowing you to live in your most illuminous light. Tomorrow I will let go of the
5-30-17
It just doesn’t get easier. I had my baby and my baby is gone. I can’t get my baby back. I was so stressed that morning it happened. Rushing out the door to make Pilates with a disagreeable 2-year-old, snapping
2-15-17
All I keep thinking is that I want my baby back. I walked out of the hospital that day without my baby and a huge piece of me was left behind as well.