A butterfly dancing at my window as if she is trying to find a way in. Maybe if she could come in and sit on my finger tips, she could elevate me from earthly matters – to where you are.
7-7-17
The only thing you have to do is breathe. Tomorrow is a full moon. A time to let go of all that is not allowing you to live in your most illuminous light. Tomorrow I will let go of the
5-30-17
It just doesn’t get easier. I had my baby and my baby is gone. I can’t get my baby back. I was so stressed that morning it happened. Rushing out the door to make Pilates with a disagreeable 2-year-old, snapping
2-15-17
All I keep thinking is that I want my baby back. I walked out of the hospital that day without my baby and a huge piece of me was left behind as well.
Dues Ex Machina
2.7.18 I had a bizarre dream the other night. I somehow found my way into an underground chamber, sort of like the one in the movie Ex Machina. There were people there who were part robot, part human. The robot-humans
2-12-17
I had already bought you a book to write you letters. One at each of your birthdays. I put the pieces of the crib in our spare bedroom and was planning on using the gorgeous yellow crib sheets I never
2-11-17
The Day of My Miscarriage Somehow the day coming to a close makes this all feel worse. Like today was a nightmare but tomorrow I have to wake up in the reality that I lost my baby, that I am
A Valentine’s Story
I’ve been holding back on posting about this until now. Like many women who go through similar experiences, it’s nearly impossible to get over the feelings of shame, inadequacy, embarrassment and pure grief to feel comfortable opening up. Olympic gymnast
Round Peg in a Sqaure Hole
I was watching Baby L play with one of those toys where you match the colored shape with the correct cut-out in a bucket. She took the triangle and relentlessly attempted to get in into the square hole. She finally
Pumping Nostaglia
I went into the baby cabinet today to put away bottles which are now occasionally used for water. Sitting there in the front were all my pumping supplies. My stomach dropped and I felt a use sense of nostalgia. Over pumping?