I went into the baby cabinet today to put away bottles which are now occasionally used for water. Sitting there in the front were all my pumping supplies. My stomach dropped and I felt a use sense of nostalgia. Over pumping? The thing that I felt was the most stressful thing in the beginning. The thing I found hardest to get accustomed to? The thing that over-whelmed me even more than juggling working from home with a newborn? When pumping enough milk for one day when she was 5-weeks-old almost caused me to have a nervous breakdown? That mom (and baby) seem so long gone now 8 month later. I am still nursing but with the introduction of solid foods, the need to pump before leaving the house sans baby is obsolete. Maybe what it really is that is I’ll never again be a first time mom. Although those first days, weeks and even months (to some extent still now) are so confusing, exciting, over-whelming and exhilarating, they were our first days. They will forever be the memories of when I became a mom and that’s just what they are now, memories. As any mom knows, there is excitement with moving forward, even some relief, but also a huge sense of sadness. At the onset of a new year, 2015 will always be the year I became a mom. A year that is now the past.

-emilie

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