Ten weeks to go. Up until now, I felt like my pregnancy was progressing at a snail’s pace. All of the sudden, I’m like “oh my god, this is really happening.” In just a matter of weeks, there will be a whole new human being entering the world. A human being I am responsible for.
Maybe it’s the baby shower planning, feeling heart palpitations as my sister is making me test strollers at Babies R Us and showing me which nipple cream is best during breast-feeding. Maybe it’s the fact that putting on socks is getting more difficult by the day with a belly that seems to grow bigger each hour. Maybe it’s that baby’s kicks and moves are no joke anymore. I swear I saw an elbow or knee poking out the side of my stomach the other night. Maybe it’s because up until this week, I haven’t noticed a huge difference in my workouts. Now I am out of breath by the warm up. Maybe it’s because I am feeling brand new aches, pains and pressures. I thought I could sneak by feeling normal during this process, somehow avoiding the inevitable symptoms of every pregnancy.
I’m not sure about other first-time mommies-to-be but with 10 weeks to go, I am panicking a little. Intertwined with the uncontrollable beaming smile that crosses my face each time baby kicks are bouts of nervousness, anxiety, insecurity, frustration and apprehension. What if I am missing the ‘mother’ gene? Do I even know how to hold a baby? What if I don’t like my life as a parent? Will I be okay never getting my old life back? How will being a parent effect my career? Will I ever be able to get back into pre-pregnancy shape? Will my body be forever changed? What if I can’t handle the sleepless nights? What if I am terrible at being a mom? What if having a baby doesn’t make me happy?
And I have assumed because I am thinking all these things and fully admitting to them, this is a tell tale sign I am doomed to be a miserable mother. Apparently, that’s not so. According to the experts in the Parenting.com article Trimester-by-Trimester Guide to Your Emotions, the psyche of a pregnant woman and her roller-coaster of emotions is all too often over-looked or underplayed. The article quotes Arlene Matthews, a New York City psychotherapist, who says that “pregnant women are expected to wear a happy face despite morning sickness, worries about the baby’s health and fears about their own inadequacies.” British pregnancy and childbirth expert Sheila Kitzinger continues, “‘But some apprehensions about having a baby are healthy. They help prepare you for the complex business of motherhood.'”
Complex is an understatement.
Pregnancy articles and blogs suggest exercise, staying hydrated, getting enough rest, talking to your healthcare provider and taking childbirth and parenting classes to help curb the third trimester pregnancy stress. In my unprofessional opinion, admitting to the emotions, accepting them then consciously choosing to let them go (when your hormones allow) can be a useful remedy.
Ten weeks. The homestretch. This is really happening. Ten weeks, a new life awaits. Ten weeks until I meet my baby girl. So scary but so exciting.
-emilie